My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
