I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
