why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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