help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
