I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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