maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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