handjob tips. give me some.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
