Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
