I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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