i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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