I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
