your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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