We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
