you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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