I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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