I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
