I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
