it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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