oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize