those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
