I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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