im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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