you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
