don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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