I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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