Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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