Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
