Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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