Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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