I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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