if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
