i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
