I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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