before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
