She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
