you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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