My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
