WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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