btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You've changed since you got that strap on
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
