is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
