a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
