Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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