We're like a lot better than the average bears
My nipple is on Facebook.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
