somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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