I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
