I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your cock deserves a montage
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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