i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And then he peed in my hair
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I'm really busy with my period
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