I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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