Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
