Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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