There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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