Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
