three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
